a5c7b9f00b Investigating a supernatural force, Edward Carnby finds himself on the toughest case of his career. With an archaeologist helping him to trace his findings back through time for centuries, the mystery only gets more complicated the further they delve into it.
In 1967, mine workers find the remnants of an ancient vanished civilization named Abkani that believe there are the worlds of light and darkness. When they opened the gate between these worlds ten thousand years ago, something evil slipped through before the gate was closed. Twenty-two years ago, the Government Paranormal Research Agency Bureau 713 was directed by Professor Lionel Hudgens, who performed experiments with orphan children. On the present days, one of these children is the paranormal investigator Edward Carnby, who has just gotten an Abkani artifact in South America, and is chased by a man with abilities. When an old friend of foster house disappears in the middle of the night, he discloses that demons are coming back to Earth. With the support of the anthropologist Aline Cedrac and the leader of the Bureau 713, Cmdr. Richard Burke, and his squad, they battle against the evil creatures.
You will invariably come across films where the only plausible response is, "why?". As in, why bother making it at all? You can rarely pin it on one person, and those who do are missing the bigger picture. Regardless, Alone In The Dark did not need to be made. This film should never have been released.<br/><br/>You watch it. Things happen, with only the most tenuous connection making a plot out of the story. This aspect of the film is so bad that, without the introductory dialog, there would be zero hope of the viewer understanding why these things were happening. So, the core of any successful film is, in my opinion, the story and the plot; there is a story here, but it's ridiculous. There is a plot, but it's too loose to do its job.<br/><br/>You watch it. You see Christian Slater overacting, stiff and lifeless. You see Brad Doriff, miscast and unnecessary. You see Tara Reid. And seeing Tara Reid is fine in my book, but when she starts talking, the magic is lost. You see bad acting everywhere, bad casting and ridiculous dialog, poor execution and performance all around.<br/><br/>You watch it. The actual fear from a horror movie is nonexistent; I challenge anyone to describe what truly scared them about this film. The entities that are meant to scare you are nearly void of purpose, poorly designed, digitally executed in a shoddy, video game-esque manner that detracts from the live action film you're watching, and, more than anything, are not scary in and of themselves.<br/><br/>Nothing about this film is scary. Nothing about this film is redeemable. For their budget, they could have filmed somebody playing the classic PC game it is "based on" (in quotes because, beyond the lead character's name, there is nothing in this movie that relates to that game) for two hours and made a more enjoyable film. Terrible, terrible, terrible. Another smudge on Uwe Boll's credibility, but not even close to being completely his fault.
'Alone in the dark', such an appropriate title. Because that is exactly where you will find yourself if you attempt to rent this movie with friends. The film was directed (and misdirected) by German director, Uwe Boll. With only one previous film under his belt, 'Doctor Boll' has become infamous for creating 2003's outrageously bad video game adaptation 'House of the dead'. Well in January 2005 the mad scientist of video game movies struck again with 'Alone in the dark'. Brace yourselves.<br/><br/>'Alone in the dark' was loosely adapted from the popular Atari video game of the same name. But whatever made the game popular was apparently not present in the movie.<br/><br/>The movie is ghastly bad. It opens with a 'Star Wars' like white-text-on-black-background scroll that seems to be setting up the story. Except it goes on, and on, for ten incomprehensible paragraphs. And then,if Boll thinks his audiences don't read, it is seemingly narrated by an over-enthused radio deejay turning the introduction into an ultimately confusing waste of time. After the scroll has mercilessly concluded we are launched into a prologue set 22 years earlier in an orphanage where a child is being chased through the woods.<br/><br/>Finally we make it to the present day where there is a world of darkness beyond ours filled with monsters that wiped out an entire civilization called "the Abkani". A government agency known713 must defeat the remainder of the monsters before they destroy mankind. The main character Edward (Christian Slater), who was once apart of this agency, is a "paranormal investigator" (wtf?) trying to solve the mystery of his orphaned childhood. There is also a sub-plot involving mind-controlling parasites if you can believe it.<br/><br/>The mysteriousness of the plot is further added to by the arrival of party girl Tara Reid, outrageously miscastan archaeologist. Her character, Aline was apparently a former lover of Edwards and,if every cliché imaginable hasn't already been used, greets Edward with a punch in the face and "I thought you were dead a-hole".<br/><br/>The production quality of this movie is average. The fight scenes appear to have been choreographed by a Kung Fu master and Boll has overused the slow motion matrix-like effect. The wardrobe looksthough a hip-hop video will start at any second. Some of the actors appear to have not learned their lines properly and stumble during simple word exchanges. Reid clearly doesn't know the meaning of any of the four syllable science words she has to say and gives a very unconvincing performancea smart person. Throughout the beginning of the movie her portrayal of an archaeologist includes wearing glasses and scribbling nonsense on a clipboard when she's not even working on anything. I couldn't help a silent chuckleher character said "I need to analyze these artifacts some more".<br/><br/>The dialogue is even worse. Slater has countless cryptic lines about his fear of the dark including "being afraid of the dark is what keeps most of us alive" and "There's a price to pay for bringing darkness into the light". All the while Reid sounds like she's reading movie taglines uttering, "Some doors are meant to stay shut". Every line read by everyone else is intended to deliver a new piece of vital information. No character development. No plot development. No good.<br/><br/>The acting, or lack of it, may be worthy of 'the Days of our lives'. All the actors appearif they're embarrassed to be there. The CGI monsters give a more convincing performance then most of the cast.<br/><br/>Behind the scenes doesn't look much better either. Partnered up with screenwriter Elan Matsai (who might I add also wrote a movie called MVP2: Most Vertical Primate), Boll has managed to create the worst film of the decade. That is the only accomplishment here. Now all the other bad film makers can be proud that they didn't make 'Alone in the dark'.<br/><br/>It's hard to find a film that is so inept on almost every level. Production quality, editing, the musical score, acting, even the extras seem to have been chosen for their background incompetence.<br/><br/>On the bright side, this movie could have been really very good had there been some acknowledgement in the opening scroll that the whole thing was meant to be a joke. But it isn't. Doctor Boll is serious. So take a look around while watching 'Alone in the dark', because you may just find yourself alone in the theaterwell.
Director Uwe Boll ("House of the Dead") has made a cottage industry out of this kind of junk. Maybe it's time for him to close up shop.

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